Knits and Ass

The Answer is C: Desperately wanted to post, but trapped under something heavy.

May 28, 2020moviesLeave a Comment

Harry Burns, When Harry Met Sally… (1989): The fact that you’re not answering leads me to believe that (a) You’re not home, (b) You’re home but you don’t want to talk to me, or (c) You’re home, desperately want to talk to me, but trapped under something heavy. If it’s either (a) or (c), please give me a call.

Yikes. Five-ish years since I wrote anything resembling anything on this blog! Per usual, life gets in the way. Jobs, family, apartments, the entire catalogue of Midsomer Murders available on Netflix…I’ve been busy. But I solemnly swear I’m up to no good, and getting back into writing this thing. It’s not like I haven’t been knitting – I sure have (I even did a cross-stitch, which I haven’t done since I was a teenager).

I can’t possibly catalogue the knitting projects I’ve completed – the good, bad and ugly – so I’m just going to pick up as if I went on a sabbatical to Cabot Cove and helped JB Fletcher solve some crimes for the last 4 years.

Not again…welcome to 2021! Ya know, the second half.

July 5, 2021July 10, 2021UncategorizedLeave a Comment

All right, fine. My bad. Oddly enough, during a 1+ year pandemic adventure (everyone is healthy, vaccinated, and relatively sane, or as sane as they were before, give or take), I knitted a ton but didn’t post anything about it. Now that we’re (fingers crossed) emerging from this national nightmare (unfortunately the rest of the world is not), I’m ready to start talking about these projects again!

I’ve still been buying yarns and kits from We Are Knitters, Purl Soho, Lion Brand and other faves, and have added Wool and the Gang to my ever-growing yarn stash. Per usual, I’ve got several projects on needles at the moment. In the winter, I was in a heavy blanket phase, heavy in terms of both the yarn and frequency of projects. I gave a few away for holiday gifts or baby shower gifts, but one I kept was this one, mostly for my dog Bruce:

The yarn was repurposed from a different WAK project that was frankly too similar to the other blanket projects I completed from them. I nosed around Ravelry and found this pattern, Buttercream, from Cali Chick Baby (as you might imagine, a baby blanket, although they have another version that’s a big one). I paid for it, and you can contact them for the pattern either via Ravelry or sales@calichickbaby.com. The baby version they show is in a lovely off-white color – Buttercream, natch – in Alpaca, but the author indicated you can use any super bulky or bulky so away I went!

The pattern is one of those that are easy to understand and knit, and switches between a very straightforward garter stitch and what I’ve always heard called “drunken rib”, a 1×1 rib for 2 rows that alternates on the following 2, giving it a cool, *almost* basketweave look. In any case, fun and easy to do if you’re watching a movie (or on a Zoom call if you dare!). In any case, it’s now Bruce’s blanket, so I’m continually taking a lint roller to it to remove dog hair, but the unintended benefit is that it keeps the fuzzies at bay as well. The Fuzzies, of course, constantly doing battle everyday with the Dust Bunnies in my house. Hardwood floors! [shakes fist at sky].

bulky, lion brand, Ravelry

Still trapped under something heavy? Like a pandemic, maybe. Or these blankets.

September 15, 2020July 5, 2021UncategorizedLeave a Comment

Six weeks, I told myself (and anyone else who would listen). It will be over in 6 weeks. It’s now been 7 months. It was chilly and fire-worthy when we got here in March, and now summer has come and gone and it’s again chilly and fire-worthy. Despite having a commute from one room to another, I still somehow managed to be busy (and neglecting my knitting) – that is, until my We Are Knitters kit came in. Maybe I’m lazy, but the kits 1) make it way easier to ensure you’re getting the same lot of yarn 2) that you have enough yarn and 3) helps me focus on a single project – more or less, since I always have roughly 3 projects going at any given time.

The first two projects were easy blankets. Kits arrive in a very cute (if heavy-duty) brown paper bag. The yarn used was super bulky, and it’s pretty good quality. Although does tend to get a little fuzzy, but I think that’s kind of true with most super bulky yarns in my experience.

The first one I did was the larger gray one with a simple crosshatch pattern. Called the No. 4 blanket, it knitted fast and the pattern is pretty easy. I was very uncreative and went with the same shade featured in the pattern, but WAK has a pretty nice selection. If you squint really hard, you can also see some Bruce fur knitted directly into the blanket! He’s just the most adorable part of the process.

The second one was in some ways even easier – just a series of bobbles called the Bobble blanket. It always takes me a few tries to nail the bobble, but then it’s like riding a bike. I was tempted to pick the hot pink in the pattern sample, but opted for Black Tweed, which is a nice off-black with little tufts of color throughout it. When you’ve got a black dog who enjoys furniture and snuggling, you make some specific yarn (and couch upholstery) choices.

Still trapped under something heavy? Like a pandemic, maybe. Or these blankets.

2015.

January 29, 2016bulky, compulsive yarn purchasing, Dog envy/Dog joy, Loops & Threads, stash busting, super bulkyLeave a Comment

Well well. Have I really skipped the entire year of 2015 without posting once? You would think I would have something to show for it – more money, a new person in my life, another excellent hobby – but no. Just same old me doing the same old stuff.

Truth be told, I did knit a bunch of things in 2015. Not as many as I’d like, of course, but there were a lot of long flights and some solid weekends upstate where I powered through a lot of projects. Was there a common theme? Not especially, if you look at the FOs – mittens, throws, lots of hats. But if you look at the yarn, my objective is clear: get. rid. of. all. that. fucking. yarn.

I admit it, I have a touch of hoarding disorder. I like to think of it as Temporary Pack Rat Syndrome, since I like to hold on to a lot of shit and then one day I snap and throw it all away, because I truly like simplicity and lack of clutter. When we lived in Park Slope, I kept all my yarn in bags behind the couch, out of sight. But occasionally a guest would look back through the windows…and then down…and then shriek in horror. Rightfully so, there was a lot of creepy looking yarn back there. It was the physical manifestation of my compulsive yarn purchasing.

Around a year ago today, I had a “snap” moment and actually threw out a bunch of yarn. It was cathartic, but still there were a handful of skeins I just could not part with. Some I just had too much of, some was just too soft and beautiful.

Two projects worth mentioning: one, an easy knitting and highly customizable hat pattern from Joelle Hoverson’s Last Minute Knitted Gifts. The fun part about this one is getting creative with stripes, patterns, earflaps and most notably colors. I got rid of ALL of my leftover skeins of Debbie Bliss Cashmerino Aran (check out the new website on Debbie! said as Samuel L. Jackson from Pulp Fiction, i.e., check out the big brains on Brad!). Here’s one sample of probably 5 hats I made.

I also had a lot of leftover Loops & Threads Cozy Wool super bulky yarn in various colors, but mostly an off-white, not quite ivory. This is essentially the Michael’s store brand, and it’s very similar to Lion Brand’s Wool-Ease Thick & Quick, which I adore. The Michael’s brand tends to be slightly less expensive, which is a little nuts because Michael’s is 50% wool and 50% acrylic, and Lion Brand is 80% acrylic and 20% wool. Oh well. Either way, the acrylic makes it nice and washable without a grody wet wool stank.

I’m continually impressed with the Purl Soho site and selection of patterns (not to mention their yarn – swoon – more on that in a subsequent post). Most of 2015 was mild and pleasant, not exactly the kind of weather where you’d need mittens (esp knitted in super bulky, where they turn out like oven mitts, see another project of mine). However, I knew the day would come, as it did, and these mittens have been invaluable during morning and evening dog walks. This is the Ancient Stitch Mittens pattern (they have a scarf version as well), and it was a pretty fun little pattern to learn. For whatever reason, my thumbs ended up in the middle of my palm, but that’s probably my mistake. They still work, and are still so pretty.

ancient_stitch_mittens

In conclusion (I guess in beginning and conclusion) 2015 was about being more efficient with yarn, and doing so via Joelle Hoverson and her Purl Soho empire. Not a terrible way to spend a year! And oh yes…one big change in 2015 – we adopted another labrador! Sweet old Rocky passed away in August 2014. We were terribly heartbroken, but our hearts have been mended by one large, sweet 7-year old chocolate lab named Mobley. We adopted him via Labs4Rescue, a fantastic group of volunteers who were able to secure a foster in Shreveport, LA, where he was found as a stray wandering the streets. Being heartworm positive, he was on the euthanasia list until L4R pulled him. Since January 17th, 2015, he’s been enjoying the good life of snuggling, napping, chewing bones and chasing squirrels in Brooklyn and upstate in Barryville. We absolutely adore him.

Bulk Fiction

November 16, 2014bulky, compulsive yarn purchasing, super bulkyLeave a Comment

One other big project I completed earlier this year was a huge-ass, extremely cozy (at times, downright hot) cardigan from a pattern I found on Ravelry, Kyoko Nakayoshi’s Bobble Cardigan. It’s almost incor bobble_cardigan rect to call it a cardigan, because it’s like wearing a gigantic blanket. It’s a Slanket, no question. But I loved the big shawl collar, and the bobbles were pretty fun to make – oddly enough, I think the bobbles actually took up a decent amount of yarn. I had originally knitted a men’s sweater (the rolled collar pullover from More Last Minute Knitted Gifts, thanks again, Joelle), but it was a bit long for Greg, and frankly hot as balls. I knew Greg would never wear it, so I frogged the whole thing and started over with the same yarn.

And perhaps this is my biggest issue, my obsession with Bulky weight yarn. Why do I like it? Am I a lazy knitter? It does knit up quickly, and I like to make throws and cardigans, but I never really like clothing items (or even hats) made from bulky yarn, because they make me look bulky. It’s not good to take on airplanes (or even to a local watering hole where I like to while away an afternoon in the winter), mistakes are spotted easily and it often fuzzes like crazy. Why do I gravitate towards it?

Alors, because: it looks better in the store. That’s it. I see those smaller, stringier yarns…they look small. Not warm. Skimpy. Spindly. Like things I don’t want to knit. Those bulky yarns…they’re voluptuous. Sumptuous. Supple.

I must avoid this temptation, this sinful approach to yarn that will only result in fat, less wearable projects. I solemnly swear, from now until…my 38th birthday, or something…I will not buy any more bulk yarn. It will not make me happy. It will not make me a better knitter. It will not make me voluptuous, sumptuous, or supple. Lord, or rather, Andrew Luck, give me strength!

DUMBO bunnies.

November 16, 2014UncategorizedLeave a Comment

Deja vu? Wishful thinking? No. Return to Paradise, I say. Yes, we’ve enjoyed our adventure on the Left Coast, and now we’re back in Brooklyn, where I think we rightfully belong. At least we feel more welcome, and our friends are here, and we brought a Rocky Dog with us too. I miss Ryan, Alexa, Diane, Bonni, and Colby, and that is roughly it. We gave it the old college try, and I’m glad we did. But more glad that we’re back.

And we now live in DUMBO, which to me for many years was frankly a wasteland.

Truth be told, we’ve lived here already for a year plus, I just haven’t updated this poor blog since then. Still feeling great about Brooklyn, save for one big change: we lost our sweet old Rocky dog in August 2014. It’s hard to talk about or even write about, but his battle with cancer and ultimately a bad pneumonia was too much for that gentle soul. Not a day goes by where I don’t think about him. I’m hoping to convince Greg to adopt another grey muzzle labbie, and rocky hope to have him convinced by spring. I think it’s the best way to honor Rocky’s memory.

And we are working through that loss…one way, of course, is indulging in my favorite, expensive hobby of knitting. I’ve started a number of projects, and finished a handful – notably some more Old Fashioned Toys from Joelle Hoverson’s Last Minute Knitted Gifts, for all the babies my friends seem to be having. They’re fun, cute, somewhat challenging and make a great gift.

And the toys – and the babies, and the friends, and the wine and all the other awesome things in life – help a lot. Here’s to more of those wonderful things, people and experiences – and I’m going to promise to get better about knitting (and posting, so I can remember what the heck I just knitted). And to remember my pup, too. We miss you every day, buddy. You were a Good Dog.

Hooked on a feeling. Or at least a Hunch.

May 25, 2013May 25, 2013alpaca, Current projects, Yarn StoresLeave a Comment

That’s pretty much how I feel about California…I am pretty sure I need to move back to New York, but really, it’s just a hunch. But shouldn’t you trust your hunches? Or your haunches? (Like Rocky).

Or your guts? Lily Tomlin said, “What is reality anyway? Just a collective hunch.” So if I have an individual hunch, is it just as valid? Well, I’m going to go for it. We’re moving back to Brooklyn! I’ve got a feeling, a hunch, a Karen Smith weather alert, and we’re doing it.

In honor of the intuitive reckoning that drives detectives, Quasimotos, and, well, me, I present the Hunch hat, by Wendy Bernard of the fantastic blog Knit and Tonic. I knitted this extra slouchy (took the 1.5″ suggestion), using a bulky yarn that I frankly don’t consider bulky – Lion Brand’s Martha Stewart Craft line, alpaca blend. I’ve used this many times before, and it’s inexpensive, soft, and incredibly versatile. Imagine my horror when the kindly Lion Brand store employees told me it was half off – because they’re discontinuing it! Say it ain’t so, Lion! Or Martha. Or whoever. I immediately bought as many as I could take on the plane. A couple of skeins of Buttermilk, which I used in this pattern here, also used to make the previous Chevalier Mittens project for my friend Devon (I made a pair for myself too), and a couple of skeins of Pea Coat Blue, a pretty, almost marbled dark blue that’s not quite navy. No idea what to make with that at the moment, but I’m sure I’ll figure it out.

Back to the Hunch…this knit up fairly quickly, as you might imagine with mostly all stockinette, but I particularly enjoyed top down knitting. Don’t think I’ve ever done that before, but it gave me more control over the slouch and allowed me to check the fitting more accurately (I think) as I went along. And the finished product? I’m pretty proud, not the least of which because Greg actually said, “Hey, you can like, wear that!”. I have a hunch that I can.

Happy Easter from the Red Baron and her trusty Bunny Rabbit!

March 31, 2013Books, Current projects, Dog envy/Dog joy, Filatura di Crosa, holidaysLeave a Comment

It’s Easter Sunday, which means I get to indulge in lots of things that are usually forbidden: swedish pancakes, champagne in the morning, deviled easter eggs, a BBC marathon and knitting. Pretty much everything I want in life, so thanks Jesus. And there’s nothing like dyed easter eggs and marshmallow peeps as a gorgeous spring pallette for inspiration, even if all the yarn I own is black, gray, white or tan. Come to think of it, that’s consistent with my wardrobe too.

Speaking of the tan yarn, I started and then abandoned a capelet a few years ago, but kept the pricey yarn. The pattern haunts me from the back of the yarn closet, but the yarn is a really lovely Filatura di Crosa, which I think is part of the Takhi Stacy Charles empire. What to do with this yarn? And so much yarn…enough yarn to make a “capelet”, which sounds small but is something that Gandalf would find cozy. Let’s start with something small, and adorable, and huggable, and spring-like.

Lucky for me, a lovely friend from work gave birth to a sweet girl named Wesley (what a great name!) a few weeks ago. She (both mom and daughter) are small, adorable, huggable and spring-like. So I made baby Wes a small, adorable, huggable and spring-like toy: a floppy eared bunny from Joelle Hoverson’s More Last Minute Knitted Gifts. These patterns (there’s an elephant and a bear too) are modeled on vintage toy patterns, and are fairly uncomplicated designs. It’s also pretty fun to play with stuffing, and it was an interesting challenge to tackle. I made one version about a year ago for baby Ryan, but this yarn is much finer, making some of the sewing and increases and decreases a bit more tricky. Still, all in all a fun Easter pattern for a small, adorable and huggable creature in springtime. Ryan the mom even sent me a photo of Wesley, who looks ready for adventure dressed as the Red Baron! With bunny rabbit beside her, she’ll be ready for anything. Squee!

The Grown-Ass Women Knitters Club.

February 10, 2013February 10, 2013Current projects, Indiana, moviesLeave a Comment

Mittens, and hats, and even huggable bunny toys…these are all well and good. Accomplishments even. What separates the little girls from the Grown Ass Women? The real knitters from the dabblers? The bad asses from the run of the mill jackasses?

I will tell you: knitting an actual piece of clothing, a wearable piece of clothing. And today, I join that Grown Ass Women’s Knitting club. Someone needs to knight me with a pair of straight needles – barring that, I think I’ll just have a glass of champagne and snuggle with my dog.

For many years, I’ve tried and failed, in some cases spectacularly. I spent a weekend with a friend in Bloomington, Indiana (our menfolk were there separately on a bachelor party), knitting away on a cardigan, only to reveal that I apparently made a cardigan for a two-year old. I’ve also made sweater parts, only to fail in the grafting/sewing stage, and then ripped apart the work in deep and abiding frustration.

So what did I accomplish? An actually pretty gorgeous cardigan from Berrocco (although I did not use their yarn) called Aidez. It’s slightly long, mid-butt length, with long sleeves, no buttons, a semi-cowled-ish collar, and utterly awesome cables and mini-patterns. Ear of corn, trellis and cable patterns made this challenging but also supremely fun. The front panels have the ear of corn pattern, easy but very pretty in 8 rows, and the sleeves have sort of a variation on that theme in the seeded wishbone pattern. I can see myself repeating this for something else, a blanket maybe? The trickiest pattern was called simply the Left and Right Cross- Stitch Cable. You had to wrap the stitches twice around to create the cable, and drop them in the following RS row. Once I got the handle of it, it was fairly straightforward, but I guess I was expecting more from a all the work required of that cable pattern, hrm. It just kind of looked like a regular old cable. As Eddie Murphy said, “These are just some regular old crackers.” I couldn’t find the Berrocco in a light oatmeal color as the pattern indicated but I found something similar, soft and off-white. The only challenge with this yarn was that it was a little fuzzy. But dang – over Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays, I made this Grown Ass Woman’s sweater.

And huge hat tip to the lady who is responsible for the (apparently short lived but loved by me) Gro wn Ass Women’s Club, and always good to review her definition of Grown Ass Women. Take note, all you women under 35. Haters gonna hate. Grown Ass Women stand tall.

Rolling in the deep. And the cheap.

February 9, 2013compulsive yarn purchasing, yarnLeave a Comment

One of many things I like about my man-friend are that we agree that gifts are fun but experiences are better, so we decided to hit storied Half Moon Bay for his birthday weekend. It’s usually a stone’s throw from SF, but this weekend happened to be the Mavericks Invitational, in which super famous and floppy haired surfers convene around a world renowned spot for tasty waves. So while we made great time for the first 13 minutes of our trek, the last 5 miles were 2 hours instead of 2 minutes. Parking illegally, walking into the beer garden without a ticket, and we didn’t even see any actual surfing (they keep people from the beach for safety). However, it was sunny, hot, the 49ers won the NFC championship, and all was right with the world.

In addition to staying here, and having a room that had a real fire pit in it (well, outside of it), we also tooled around the downtown Half Moon Bay, which was utterly delightful on a holiday weekend. We stopped in at the San Benito House, right on the main drag, lured in by the promise of the “Best Bloody Mary in the Bay!”. Hey, advertising works. Turns out, they meant HMB, which includes maybe one other bar/restaurant, but it seriously was a phenomenal bloody – the secret apparently being the addition of lots of smoked paprika. Greg certainly enjoyed it, even if the massive celery stalk proved somewhat challenging.

The other signal that HMB is a winning town in my book is that they had a yarn store. Fengari is full of yarn ideas, books, projects and has a ton of inventory in the back. The lovely ladies working there were kind and helpful, but not all up in your grill. Aside from the fact that I already had about a zillion projects underway, I simply could not help myself – I bought a beautiful bright lemon yellow yarn, with the idea that I might make the lovely swing sweater pattern I’d seen a few months ago in Knit Simple. Here’s the good news, the news of my improvement: I bought cheap yarn. I bought yarn which had a sign next to it that said, “Good for Felting!” which might as well mean, “Wipe your ass with this!” I don’t care – it’s a solid wool, slightly scratchy, and incredibly cheap Lamb’s Pride in bulky weight. If I am still going to battle my uncontrollable yarn urges, at least I will make them more economical. This color is called Lemon Drop, and it’s bright, but a slightly darker “lemon” color – as if you added some Dijon mustard to it. It’s actually 85% wool and 15% alpaca, so not entirely a hairshirt experience.

The Knit Simple Bell Sleeve Turtleneck is a really cute design, although I loathe the garter stitch. I really do. There, I said it. It looks JV. It looks dumb. It looks like worms worming around each other, especially in bulky yarn. So I decided it would look better in stockinette, realizing there would be a roll at the bottom, but thinking I could live with it. After, oh I don’t know, 25 rows or so, this bitch was still rolling. Rolled up like a rugelach, or a rug. Rolling, in a way that was just wrong. So, I’ve just taken it apart, and starting over. The question is, do I follow the wormy garter stitch pattern? Or do I do a tiny garter border and keep it in stockinette, as I wanted originally? What a cliffhanger! Tune in again in about 6 months to find out. See how I roll.